As women, we spend so much time rehearsing in our minds how we would like our love life to play out. What we will and will not tolerate in a man and what we are looking for in a man, but not enough time loving on God and trusting that in His timing He will bring love to us. We say things like, “I want to marry the love of my life. He has to be everything I ever desired; 6’3, physically fit, educated, well-paid, faithful, honest, no children, never been married, awesome home, gorgeous vehicle, pearly white teeth, loving and kind, but most of all he’s God-fearing.” Every man that we meet we are telling ourselves that he is the one.
I was convinced that I was waiting to find the love of my life, he was NOT waiting on me because I was ready. I would say, “he is taking too long to get it right.” So what did I do? I went from one relationship to the next saying, “now this one is the one,” only to find myself single and lonely time and time again because the relationships never worked out. I became desperate to find love and I began to attract guys who were just like me…broken. Thoughts of, “maybe my standards are too high” and “maybe I am not smart enough for the guy who has his life together” ran through my mind. It was not until a minister called me out on this, that my eyes were opened up. The statements that I entertained in my head showed that I did not believe that I was worthy of God’s love and I did not think that I was worthy of a good man.
After taking some time to reevaluate my life, I took a step back and admitted to myself that I was not ready for love. How could I be ready and I continued to live life in my brokenness? How could I be and I have not worked through issues I had with my father? I share my story to say this, you are worthy! God loves you and He only creates the best of his sons for his daughters. You are royalty, why are you not living your life as such? You must learn to love and value yourself before any man can love you. How you think of yourself is how men will treat you.
I recommend that you take a good look at yourself and go to God in prayer seeking answers for what you need to do to be ready for your God ordained mate. It may take you working through issues with your father. It may be healing from rejection and disappointment. It could be letting go of bitterness. You may have a history of trauma that carried over into your adulthood and now it affects your relationships with family, friends, and possible mates. Whatever the issue may be, trust God to reveal it to you, then allow Him to heal you completely so that when the day comes for you to meet your king you will be ready. Some experiences may require that you seek help from a professional and that is okay.
When you know your worth, you know what you deserve. The men that you thought you wanted may no longer be appealing, but now that you know your worth, you will recognize the one that comes from God. So what if he is not as tall as you would like, he is faithful. Who cares if he is not making six figures, he loves you. Realize that there is no need for you to go searching and dating every man in your city. For the Bible states, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the LORD (Proverbs 18:22 NKJV).” He will find you, but are you in the position to be found? This reminds me of the biblical story of Ruth. Ruth was in the position to be noticed by Boaz. The Bible does not state that she was dating random guys to take up time until she found a husband. Sit back, relax, and trust that God will send your husband to you just as He did for Ruth and you will surely be blessed.
Faith it until you make it, Hope for the best, and Love God and yourself with every fiber of your being. Watch God work!